Last night was cold...okay, okay, it was freaking freezing. As I cuddled in bed with my daughter trying to put her to sleep, she asked me to make up a bedtime story. She just loves to hear stories I've created and many times, she joins in the creative journey through our imaginations. Most are about characters we've created who just happen to share her two middle names. But last night, this one was about her. I created the story based entirely on a shared experience between the two of us, calling her "the warming fairy". After the story was over, we vowed to keep it a secret between us...real mommydaughter stuff. Couldn't feel closer.
Now tonight, we are sitting at the dinner table catching up on our respective days, now that she is in school and an aftercare programme.
She asks, "Mommy, do you know that every child is special?"
Now I don't know where she (ever the negotiator) is going with this so I simply answer, "Yes, every child is special."
Then she says, "Mommy, I shared our secret but only with my teacher. I wanted to know if I was different than everybody because of the bedtime story last night (which if you are paying attention featured her) and my teacher said, 'Every Child Is Special'".
Ordinarily, this would not mean *sooooo* much to me but for the fact that only yesterday, I came to the realisation that my child may still have speech and language issues. I discussed it with her teachers and gradually, but certainly, started to become unglued. Although my support beams tried to keep me grounded, I barely slept last night after reading over her reports diagnosing her with a Speech and Language Disability at age 3. I thought about it all day today as I read over all of her previous IEPs (individualised educational plan). I thought about it driving to pick her up from her afterschool programme. I thought about it on our ride home. I thought about it in the shower, struggling to reconcile it all, but knowing, with all that I am, that she is on a special journey in this life. And in the steamy background, the sounds of Midnite kept on chanting, "JAH in a I and I, JAH in a everybody".
Unbeknownst to me, earlier today, an event completely out of my control reconciled it all. Last night, I told my daughter that bedtime story because I was trying to let her know that she is special without coming out and saying it just like that. Afterall, a queen deserves a more dignified entrance. She and I promised that the story would be our secret (again, my attempt to keep the moment special). But today, her spirit moved her to share our secret with her teacher. Overlooking the fact that she broke that promise, her teacher simply told her "Every Child is Special". Above all other things, that message resonated with her throughout her day compelling her to share it with me tonight at our dinner table.
So, now you know too: Every Child is Special !
My child is special!!! She is faithfully and wonderfully made.
And now I'm noticing a curious, but familiar, little pattern emerging. Whenever I start to become unglued, there is a special 7 1/2 year old girl with incredible wisdom beyond her years who glues me back together...and she doesn't even know it. And I am secure knowing, no matter what lies ahead, JAH will provide.
One Love, Se'Lah
*For a little background, please read: A Loss For Words.