Conscious Friday: Mama Africa...

So, the shortest month of the year (Black History Month) is over and we are headed to March with its occasional signs of Spring. Today was 63 degrees here and guess what -- snow is on the way tonight. Typical New England weather but it is completely indicative of how 2009 has been so far. The rollercoaster ride continues.

Anyhow, giving thanks for every day of life. I've got a chilled bottle of wine and some cheese. I've got my health and my family. So, I'm settling in for a nice, quiet weekend. Please enjoy Conscious Friday and the rest of your weekend.

One Love, Se'Lah


*Midnite: Mama Africa


*Akon (featuring 50 Cent): Mama Africa


*Peter Tosh: Mama Africa

I love you all the way to God's house...

Last night, I laid in bed with my daughter who was doing her all to avoid falling asleep. To expedite the process, I started to play one of our little imagination games.

She asked, "Mommy, how much do you love me? Longer than my arms?" (as she stretched them out as far as she could reach)

I answered, "I love you to the moon".

She then replied,"I love you all the way to God's house".

How can I top that? ;-) I love that little girl.

Rasta Woman Chronicles: Realisations...

1. Every day I must spend time with myself so that I may discard the negative and keep the positive.

2. Every now and again, a lightbulb goes off in my head. Some might call it a "blonde moment" (no discrimination against true or fake blondes intended). Others might call it an "A-HA! moment". But regardless of your political (in)correctness, it would appear that I have a lot of those moments.

3. At one end of the eastern seaboard right now, it is freezing. In order to brave the outside, people must wear thick jackets, scarves, hats, mittens and winter boots. At the other end it is cozy and warm and there are people walking around in tshirts and flip flops.

4. Driving back from Florida last night, I did all I could to ignore the ever-present, uninvited passenger - mr. tension. I focussed on the natural beauty of weather patterns. With every mile we drove, my hubby questioned the wisdom of our recent relocation just a little more (sometimes in complete silence). Understandably, he no longer enjoys living up North during winter after living in subtropical Florida for 7 years. Right on cue, my daughter looked out the window into the dark, snowy night and commented on how lucky she is to be inside a warm car because there are so many homeless people who must be very cold right now. I literally felt my heart melt.

One Love, Se'Lah

Back from my daughter's school vacation...

I left warm, sunny Florida and drove the eastern seaboard for the second time within one week. I returned to a gradual progression (or deterioration) from beautiful mist to rain, sleet, snow, and finally blizzard conditions, all with huge 18-wheeler trucks whizzing by carelessly...so I must say, if nothing else, I am glad to be back in my "necessary room". Will post more as the feeling hits me, because as you well know by now, I have no structure ;-)

One Love, Se'Lah

my heart is in my shadow...

'Tis Today: 2009 Daytona 500...

I'm here in my necessary room with one of my BFFs. The engine have roared and it's now time for the green flag to drop at the 2009 Daytona 500 and let loose 43 men to race for the win at speeds of 187 miles an hour. What a rush!

Of course, I have my favourites: "Smoke" - Tony Stewart, "Wild Thing" - Kyle Busch, "June Bug" -Dale Earnhardt Jr., Denny Hamlin, Mark Martin, Ryan Newman, and Carl Edwards/Mr. Ed (*likeability completely depends on whether he interferes with any of the aforementioned during the race).

Gotta go cheer for Smoke - Go #14 !!!

Every day is Love Day...

Remember when...

Although it wasn't the reason I went to this local country store late last night, a smile came to my face as I sat in the car lost in my thoughts. Remember the days when you were dating and needed to buy condoms, either in preparation or contemplation? You certainly were too embarrassed to go inside the store and buy it yourself, or you just wanted to pretend that you were not sexually active, or was acting like you were not ready to put out so you left it up to your prospective lover to do the deed. To reinforce your lack of association with this person buying condoms from a store late at night, you chose to remain seated in the car. Racing thoughts engulfed your mind as you watched him walk up to the checkout counter, knowing that whatever his choice of condoms, it would certainly tell you alot about him ;-) Buyer beware (ha ha ha).

Celebrating Love...

On "Love Day" (Feb 14, 2009), my hubby and I will celebrate our 10th year anniversary. Tonight, we set out on our 21-HOUR drive with our daughter who will no doubt let us know exactly how she feels about being stuck in a vehicle for that length of time the whole way there...she's already questioning why we are not flying in a plane as always. Thank heavens for Katherine Rose and modern electronic devices.

Anyway, it's FLORIDA or bust !!! I must make a secret confession: I have ulterior motives for choosing FL as our holiday destination...the Daytona 500 is on Sunday so I'm killing 2 birds with one stone. I know, real romantic, right?

Well, here's to love and happiness (and road trips).

*Tarrus Riley: She's Royal

A stolen moment together...

Dear Ms. Doris...

Hey Girl!

Just writing you a letter because I can't get on the phone and call you right now. Your goddaughter is just as finicky as you thought she would be the first moment you saw her jumping around in my belly. Do you remember that?

We used to take our daily walk together at lunch. It was your idea to get me outside to breathe some fresh air. I had recently returned from the Caribbean after my aunt's unexpected passing. You understood what her passing meant to me. She was more than an aunt. She was more like a mother to me. You allowed me to be vulnerable in the presence of a true friend and escape my professional identity and the accompanying rules of decorum. With you, on those walks, I was allowed to grieve and you walked right there with me providing comfort throughout my journey.

I cried as I explained to you that the only thing my aunt ever asked of me was to give her a child to hold and I did not get to do that for her. I was quite comfortable with my life and wasn't trying to hear that. But, when I went back home and her death became undeniably real, I decided that perhaps I should have a child and leave my mark on the world. You laughed so hard as I boasted about how many times we tried to get pregnant on that island.

The next month, I couldn't wait to meet you in the courtroom. I ran in like the cops were chasing me. At first I thought the courtroom was empty but then you slowly appeared. I shouted, "Doris, I'm pregnant". You said "girl, stop playing". I said "I have the evidence to prove it". You pulled up the tv and vcr used play videos for the jury. I popped in the VHS and we saw the tiny being bouncing weightlessly through space. I proudly explained that we were witnessing the baby growing inside of me. We watched in amazement as we pondered how mystical life truly is. And in that moment, you became a godmother.

Tomorrow marks two years since you unexpectedly left this earth in the human form I knew and loved. You remain the ultimate diva. Beautiful. Kind. Spiritual. Selfless. Loving. And forever, my true friend.

I miss you Ms. Doris.

p.s. Between me and you ;-), I felt your spirit the first time I wound up your pink, angel musicbox that plays "I will always love you". I realize you were not ready to let it go just yet but girl, I ain't gonna lie, you freaked me out at first. And although your sister was the one who graciously gave it to your goddaughter, I want to thank you for allowing her to enjoy it.

*To read a moving dedication by Doris' sister, please click here.

I see love in my shadow...

JAH, help me please !!!!

Mommy, does daddy have a tail like a lion?

(First thought: "Well, not ex-act-ly.")

I think I'll go with my second thought: Daddy turn around, let me see if you have a tail. I don't see a tail. Mommy enjoys a bottomless chuckle.

(next day).

Mommy, did you know that boys have weiners?

Humans have hair...

Mommy, did you know humans have hair?

Hair?

Yes. When you're a little girl, you don't have hair because you're a little girl. But when you get to 5th grade, you get hair. And when you go to middle school, you get even more hair. And then when you grow up, you get covered in hair, like you.

Watching paint dry...

Usually, I can sit and enjoy every minute of my Saturday afternoon and hope it never ends. Today, however, is the Budweiser Shootout which marks the beginning of the 2009 NASCAR season. I am foaming at the mouth waiting for 8:00 pm. Here's to "Saturday Nights under the lights" with hot, athletic men driving around in fast cars at ridiculous speeds with loud engines roaring. Drive it like you stole it baby. I'm still hoping that one day soon, my bad-boy "Smoke" (aka Tony Stewart) will take me for a spin. If not, I will surely settle for any of my other boy toys. They've had about three months to work out and get ready for their debut this week. I can hardly wait to check out their talents. Tick, tock, tick....

Hey, we all have our vices. At least my husband knows about mine. ;-)

Mama Says: Fruit don't fall far from tree...

Let me be the first to introduce you to the newest member of our family, "Katherine Rose". She is my daughter's special American Girl doll, and my miracle hopefully.




On my island, the old people say "Fruit don't fall far from tree". Therefore, whatever trouble you give your parents, you will surely get it back when you have children." Because they said it with such conviction, and they were old and wise, I figured they must know what they are talking about. I tried to remember how I was as a child and didn't have to think too long to decide that maybe I shouldn't have children. I was always scared to have children but during an emotional time in my life, I threw caution to the wind and we planned to have a child. I became pregnant with my daughter shortly thereafter. After giving birth, it didn't take long for me to decide that one child is more than enough for me! After all, why test fate again?

I was always concerned that my daughter was never really attached to any particular doll, toy, or stuffed animal like most kids I have seen. Consequently, unlike most parents, I didn't have the privilege of making "I'll take away your toys" an effective disciplinary tool. The girl was not phased by much. Whatever the situation, she would almost defiantly, just go with the flow where other kids would be screaming their lungs out. Her teachers would put her in timeout. Didn't bother her. She would sit there until it was over leaving them puzzled, rather than the child they originally set out to discipline. I always found it amusing when they would look to me for direction that I could not possibly provide them. After all, aren't they the experienced ones with kids? My cousin's wife once said of my daughter, "She is the kind of child that don't make you want to kill her. She makes you want to kill yourself." Although I don't endorse any killing, knowing the complex being that is my daughter, I understood what my cousin's wife was trying to say.

I do recognize that I have been blessed with an everflowing source of energy, but I also appreciate her unconditional love and calm of spirit. I am the luckiest woman on earth to have been chosen as the vessel to bring her complex, unique, enduring spirit into this world.

One Love, Se'Lah

Conscious Friday: HAPPY EARTH LIGHT!!!

Today is the 64th anniversary of the birth of Robert "Bob" Nesta Marley (born February 6, 1945). I invite you to join me in celebrating this occasion. Please feel free to leave comments regarding how he and/or his music has influenced you.







One Love, Se'Lah

Friendship...

I have always used the word friend very sparingly. Indeed, I am extremely comfortable having very few friends. I am not sure if it is by choice or by design but I am guided to a selected few individuals as such. As our paths in life crossed, I knew within very short order which of these individuals would be adopted into that role in my life. It's hard to explain but it is a connection of the spirit that is so pure and genuine, it just is.

Lately, I've had been having a recurrent thought...more of a question of myself really. Am I as good a friend to my friends as they are to me?

*Tarrus Riley: I'll Be Your Friend

One Love, Se'Lah

HAPPY BLACK HISTORY MONTH...

Enjoy the sounds of LadySmith Black Mambazo singing "Homeless"...